October 7, 2013
Staying in love over the long term is something that doesn’t always come naturally for most people. Here are my e6 ssentials for keeping the love alive:
1. Every night:
Make time for the two of you to talk for at least half an hour. This means what happened through the day for you, how you felt about it, and what you have been thinking.
2. Every day:
Find at least one thing you appreciate about your partner and tell him/her.(You look gorgeous, I like your shirt, That was a beautiful meal, I appreciate that you work so hard for us, I love the feel of your skin)
3. Every week:
Have a date night one night a week, just the two of you. Take turns to organize what you’ll do. If something else crops up on that night, swap your date night for another night, but don’t put it off. You show your partner that you value your relationship and are not taking him/her for granted by this small but consistent gesture.
4. Every month:
Check with each other about how your relationship is going.
Ask each other,” On a scale of 1 to 10, how are we going?” And then, the more important question, “What would make it a 10 for you?”
In this way you both keep up to date about the quality of your relationship, and have opportunities to take action to keep it alive and vibrant.
5. Every 3 months:
Go away, just the two of you, for a weekend, or preferably a long weekend, just to have fun. No-one else is invited. Take turns to organize it.
6. Every year:
Celebrate your anniversary (either wedding, or meeting each other, or moving in together) in a way that is meaningful to both of you, and recommit for another year. Talk about what you like to see happen in the next year.
The more you treasure and honor your partner and your relationship, the richer will be the rewards for all. These kinds of simple things done over time make a huge difference to the quality of your relationship.
If you would like further help with these or anything related to your relationship, please see a qualified and experienced relationship and marriage counsellor.
All the best in staying in love.