March 4, 2014
When your relationship is in trouble and you have tried all you know to fix it, it can get very frustrating and disappointing, as the loving feelings that brought you together in the first place are are often buried under layers of negativity, pain, arguments or coldness.
If you are like most people, you like to keep your personal problems to yourself. Most of us don’t like airing our dirty laundry in public. However, when you have done all you know how to resolve your relationship problems, and it is not working, then there is the option of going to a marriage or relationship counsellor.
Most people want to be sure that in going to this trouble, that it is going to be worth the effort; that the counsellor will be able to offer them some positive solutions that they can’t find on their own.
Marriage Counselling can help you
Successful relationship counselling and marriage counselling does just this, and does this for a reason.
Albert Einstein once said, “You cant solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew”
This is the reason that a good marriage counsellor can help you. To begin with, none of us has been taught how to have a good relationship. Even though it is an absolutely essential skill for us to have as humans, no-one teaches us. We are left to either follow our parents model, or alternatively do the opposite, as we didn’t like the way we were raised. But mostly we are operating in the dark.
So that is the first thing that good relationship counselling offers you: Education on how to have a good relationship. We have taken the time to learn these skills so we can show you how.
Additionally, and just as importantly, a good marriage counsellor can give you insight into why your particular relationship is not working, and what each of you are doing that might be contributing to it. This insight is like gold to a couple experiencing problems, because it offers the specific way out of the conflict for your unique situation.
What to expect from Marriage Counselling
Usually we recommend that the earlier you can recognise you have a problem, and the sooner you can come into relationship counselling, the easier the process.
Having said that, however, what happens for most people is that they leave it until one partner is almost ready to walk out the door, and then make an appointment.
Strangely, counselling at this time can also work very effectively too, as, although your problems are usually larger by this time, also can be your motivation to look at what is happening and your part in it, when your whole relationship is at risk.
Whenever you decide that you need some help, good counselling can give you insight that you have been missing and offer a new way forward for a relationship often far better than you can imagine.
Check our our blog on will my partner change if I bring him to counselling.
More next week.