The 5 love languages: how to show your love

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If you have ever felt your partner doesn’t love you, then it may be because he or she doesn’t have the same love languages as you do.

According to Gary Chapman, there are basically 5 love languages or ways that people express their love.

For most couples, these are different from each other.

When we are in a love relationship, we tend to speak our own primary love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating, or doesn’t feel our love.

When we can identify and also learn to speak our partners love language, we have the key to a truly loving relationship.

Here are the 5 Love Languages:
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1.  Words of affirmation

These include verbal compliments, appreciation, and affirmation, encouraging words, and kind words

2.  Quality time

This means giving your partner your undivided attention, your presence. It also includes empathic conversations, sharing thoughts, feelings and desires in an open uninterrupted environment.

3.  Receiving gifts

Giving gifts are a symbol of thinking about your partner. Gifts are visual gifts of love.

4.  Acts of service

These could include cooking a meal, washing dishes, changing the babies nappies, cleaning the car.

5.  Physical Touch

Physical touch is a powerful vehicle to expressing your love. These include, holding hands, kissing, hugging, cuddling, touching and making love.

How to determine your primary love language.

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There are 3 methods of discovering what your primary Love Language is.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1.  What does my partner do or fail to do that hurts me deeply? If your primary love language is used negatively by your spouse, it will hurt you more deeply than it will someone else, because not only is he neglecting to speak your primary love language, but he is actually using that language as a knife to your heart.
  2. In what way do you regularly express your love for your partner? This is usually what you are wishing your partner would do for you.
  3. What have you most often asked for from your partner? The thing you have most often asked for is likely to be the one that will make you feel most loved.
Once you know your partner's love languages

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Once you have identified the primary love language for each of you, it is important to give to your partner using their primary love language first and foremost.

Then both of you will feel whole-heartedly loved.

If you need help in discovering your love languages and/or communicating with your partner and ensuring that you both feel loved by each other, phone us for help. We have 70 Relationship Psychologists Australia wide who can assist you create a healthy and happy relationship again.

Both Relationship and Individual Counselling is available  Australia wide, either In-house, by Phone or Skype Sessions – 50 mins

Cost: $155  ($175 for after hours sessions)

Phone 1300 830 552 to enquire or make an appointment.
Private Health Insurance Rebates apply and Medicare Rebates may apply (please check for details)

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