How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

July 26, 2017

Research by the Gottman Institute has proven that how much you know about your partner —and the amount of interest you show in learning it — are two essential factors in creating a high-quality relationship. You might already know the answer to the following questions, or you might not. Either way, asking and getting the answers will give you an opportunity to assess how much you know about your partner…and how much they know about you.

Start by focusing on one of you first, asking and answering all 15, then switch to the other.

  1. What has been your partner’s biggest highlight of his or her life so far?
  2. What stresses is he or she facing at the moment and in the immediate future?
  3. What has been your partner’s favorite birthday celebration so far in his or her life?
  4. What has been your partner’s best sexual experience the two of you have shared?
  5. What has been your partner’s favorite birthday gift you have given him or her?
  6. What life experience has your partner learned the most from?
  7. What is your partner’s favorite way to spend an evening?
  8. What personal improvements does he or she want to make in his or her life?
  9. What is your partner’s favorite way of being soothed?
  10. What are a few important events coming up in your partner’s life, and how does he or she feel about them?
  11. What is your partner’s biggest fear?
  12. What job would be an ideal one for your partner?
  13. What is your partner’s worst childhood experience?
  14. What is your partner’s favorite vacation destination?
  15. What is your partner’s biggest dream for the future?

Remember: These are great conversation starters — you can always ask even more questions and get to know your partner even better!